u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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