Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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