i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
