He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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