May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
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