I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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