eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
