I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
