im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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