turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
