should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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