U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
