You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
