i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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