In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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