1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
