Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
