I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
