I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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