I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize