Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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