He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Randomize
