this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
sex in a hospital.. check
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
