The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
