We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
