i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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