i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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