Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
