I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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