Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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