There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
