the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
