When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
