I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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