I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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