Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
