I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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