The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
