Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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