You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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