Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
