She said her name was "party"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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