i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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