are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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