i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
