Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
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He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
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Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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