The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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