check it out our google latitudes are spooning
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
