I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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