K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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