he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
