Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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