Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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