The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
