If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
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