i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
