I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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