It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
even my farts smell like vagina
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Come share oat with me in your robe
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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