I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
