One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
It's just like the Real World with babies
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
