The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
